Posts from — February 2008

Encouragement Always.

A big part of loving yourself  is learning to focus on who you are in this moment and not obsessing about who you were yesterday or will be tomorrow.  Love exists in the present. It is here.  It is now.  You can’t love retroactively.  You can’t give yourself the love you needed.  You can only give yourself the love you need.

Encouragement Always.

“Where I am right now is not a good place!”  That’s how one woman reacted when I suggested that if she wanted to begin loving her life, she should begin now.  “But my life is a mess,” she protested.  “I can’t possibly begin loving my life until I fix everything that’s wrong.”

While I certainly don’t want to diminish what this woman was going through, putting off loving your life until you’ve fixed everything that’s wrong with it is the reason so many of us become overwhelmed and stay stuck in unproductive routines.  Loving your life as a starting point is what will give you the energy you need to make the improvements you want to make.  Because how hard are you going to work to improve something you don’t love?

Let’s face it, our lives often look like a mess because living is messy work.  But no matter how messy your life is, it can always get a whole lot messier.  One of my favorite Love-Your-Life stories is a parable about a poor farmer who went to a rabbi for advice on how to improve his miserable life. The farmer lived in a one-room home with his wife, six kids and his in-laws. 

The rabbi told him to go home and bring his goat, pig and cow to live inside the house.  The man was confused but trusted the rabbi and followed his advice.  After a few weeks of living in an impossibly chaotic household, the farmer went back to the rabbi and told him that things had gotten even worse.  “Now I feel like I am living ina a barn!” he said.

The rabbi told him to remove the animals from his house.  The farmer returned in a few days, happier than he had been in years.  He told the rabbi his home now felt spacious, clean and quiet.  He thanked the rabbi for showing him that he actually did love his life.

Encouragement Always.

A stumble may prevent a fall.

Encouragement Always.

Last night I started reading The New Earth by Ekhart Tolle, it’s Oprah’s new book club selection.  Here is the most encouraging thought I have come across so far:  You are not the crazy stuff that you think about all day every day.

Encouragement Always.

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it — and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove lid.   She will never sit on a hot stove lid again — and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore.

Encouragement Always.

Encouragement Always.

The next time you find yourself feeling stuck and not sure what to do next, try this: 

 1.  Make  a list of 3 things you consistently put off and avoid doing.

2.  Make a list of 3 things you tell yourself you can’t do.

3.  Make a list of 3 things you only do when you feel motivated or inspired.

4.  Make a list of 3 things you see other people doing that you find yourself saying “I wish I could do that.”

5.  Make a list of 3 things you expect other people to do for you.

Then, review your lists, any item that appears on more than 1 list is a good indication of what you should do next.

Encouragement Always.

Yes you can.

Encouragement Always.

That’s the title of my daughter’s favorite book series and movie.  It is about three orphaned children who are being stalked by their uncle, Count Olaff.  He wants to murder the children so he can inherit their parents’ fortune.  Fortunately, the children always seem to be one step ahead of him.  No matter how menacing the circumstances (at one point in the movie, Count Olaff locks the children inside his car and parks it in front of an oncoming train on a railroad track), the children never panic in the face of catastrophe.

That’s because the oldest child, Violet, who has a gift for inventing things, reminds her younger siblings that, “There is always something you can do about your problems.”  Violet never wasted time questioning why bad things were happening or wishing things were different.  She always looked at her circumstances and asked, “What can I do next?”  And then she quickly went about the business of doing what needed to be done.

By developing the habit of doing what needed to be done, those little kids acquired something most adults only dream about obtaining — the confidence and calm in knowing that no matter what happened they would be okay.

I must confess that whenever my life seems like a series of unfortunate events, it is usually because I have lost sight of the profoundly simple fact that “there is always something you can do to improve the situation.”  And whenever I begin doing what needs to be done, my life takes a miraculous turn for the better.

Encouragement Always.